This is the most amazing thing you will read today. Click the link.
Best line:
I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you.
When you go on a date, ladies, DON’T PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR* AND FOR GOD’S SAKE NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT. What are you thinking? You’re LEADING HIM ONNNN.
Goddamn this e-mail is horrifying. If you want to completely destroy your shot at a second date, this’ll do it.
*I play with my hair constantly (I have my whole life). I don’t want to date 99% of the people I’m around when I’m doing this. It isn’t a ~~secret signal~*~.
Yeah, what a cock-tease! I mean, c’mon! WHO LOOKS A MAN IN THE EYES IF THEY DON’T WANT TO FUCK THEM?
Amazing! His plea to start a relationship based on how convenient it would be because they like classical music is so fucking absurd it is amazing
